Live With Yourself
by Femvamp
Summary: How do you live with yourself? This is going to be my first multi-chapter story all based on the episode 2.7 Dark Cousin from multi characters point of view. ***Now Complete***
1. Sister Jude

Title: Live With Yourself

Author: Femvamp

Disclaimer: American Horror Story: Asylum belongs to Ryan Murphy and other people who aren't me.

Spoilers: Season 2 Episode 7 Dark Cousin

A/N: This will be my first multi chapter fic. Don't know how many chapters or how long each chapter will be. Some may be longish some may be very very short but this will only last for a week (until next episode) then I will end it regardless of the number of chapters I include.

SUMMARY: How do you live with yourself?

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**Sister Jude**

She drank.

She was a drunk. A drunken whore. That was the easiest way to describe her in her youth. When she was young and vibrant and had her whole life in front of her, she drank it all away and nearly killed a young girl in the process. She thought she had killed the girl.

How had she lived with herself? That had always been the question. She found God. That was how. She thought God had found her, given her a purpose; to help poor broken souls find peace. Briarcliff was going to be her greatest achievement. It was going to be her purpose. Instead it became her downfall.

She knew she was strict. She had to be. These poor souls needed structure and discipline. They needed rules. They needed guidance from a strong hand. They needed her. They needed her to be strong. They needed Sister Jude the strong and sure not Judy Martin the drunken lounge singer which is what she really was. She had once laughed when she was told that the Apostle Jude was the patron Saint of lost causes because maybe that was what she always was; a lost cause.

In the end maybe it was her ability to live with her own sins that was her greatest strength. Her ability to move on when she probably should have just crawled in a ball and die or maybe it was her high tolerance for alcohol. It didn't matter anymore.

She had only one more thing to do, before the end.

She had to stop Arden and Sister Mary Eunice.

She had to protect the patients at Briarcliff. They were the closest things to children she would ever have. They were the closest thing to a family she ever really had. That was the sad thing; or maybe it was the thing that made her human. She wasn't sure anymore. It didn't matter anymore.

She found a purpose at last.

Sister Jude...no she was no longer a nun...Judy Martin walked back into the diner where she had met with the angel and sat down with a bottle of bourbon.

They would be here for her soon.

She was going back to Briarcliff.

One way or another.

"This is how I live with myself." She toasted the empty booth and waited.


	2. Lana Winters

**Lana Winters**

She wasn't sure she could do this anymore. She wasn't sure she wanted to. Sister Mary Eunice had said that this place; this asylum was where she belonged and maybe she was right. Lana wasn't sure who she was anymore. She had been so happy once. It was almost like a dream; a wonderful dream. Was that all it had ever been? She wondered if that was true. Had she always been in this place and just dreamed of the outside; a life with Wendy. Was that all Wendy was, because nothing could be so beautiful in her life. Her life was not beautiful. it was a nightmare.

Her life was one nightmare after another. It was horrible terrible things and horrible terrible people. Her life was being locked in rooms and being tied to beds. It was electro shock therapy and corporal punishment. She didn't get good things.

Wendy was too good to be true. A wonderful memory that refused to fade as everything else in her life did. A life outside got further and further away. She had been a reporter once, right? Had that been true? She had been so stupid, so naive to think she could get a story on Briarcliff, on Bloody Face. She had been so sure it was Kit Walker. She had been so sure of alot of things. Now she was sure of nothing. Nothing except Wendy.

Asleep she dreamed of Wendy.

Awake she saw monsters everywhere.

Nowhere was safe for her anymore except in her dreams. Even when she escaped Briarcliff she ended up in even worse places, worse nightmares. Maybe death was the answer. It would be so easy to let go. She could be with Wendy. They could be together. A final sleep she would no longer have to wake up from.

It would be over.

Lana knew her heart called out for death but her mind wasn't ready to let go just yet. Escape held new meaning for her now. She no longer cared if she ever got out of Briarcliff. Outside held nothing for her anymore. Sister Mary Eunice was right, this was where she belonged. All she wanted was to make sure Bloody Face paid for what he did. Kit was innocent. She needed to make sure everyone knew that.

She had to hold on long enough for Sister Mary Eunice to call the police.

She needed to hold on for everyone to know the truth. Dr. Oliver Thredson was Bloody Face and he had killed Wendy. He had killed all the others and had violated her. She would hold out for that at least. She could do that much. Wendy would understand. Wendy had always understood.

Lana wasn't ready just yet. She would make Oliver Thredson pay for all the things he had done. She was determined to hang on, to live long enough to see that happen, to make that happen. After that it didn't matter whet happened to her. Once everyone knew the truth. she didn't care what they did to her.

All she wanted was peace.

All she wanted was to sleep so she could see Wendy again.


	3. Dr Oliver Thredson

**A/N: **Not sure about this chapter. This one took some time to write because I wasn't sure about it at all. Not sure If I like it, apprently I write the girls alot better then the boys but I wanted to write something from Thredson's perspective.

**Dr. Oliver Thredson **

Doctor Oliver Thredson was a man who knew himself. He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it. What he wanted now was Lana Winters. He had her in his grasps and he had almost lost her. He was determined to get her back. She was not going to be like the others and abandon him.

He had been frantic with worry when Sister Mary Eunice had shown up at his home with news of Lana's whereabouts. She had offered him a position at Briarcliff and at first he had said no then she had let it slip that she knew he was Bloody Face and that he really had no choice in the matter. He wondered why she wanted Bloody Face as a Doctor and she just smiled and said it was her business.

Of course he had taken the job.

It would get him close to Lana.

It had been Sister Mary Eunice's idea for him to write a professional diagnosis of her mental state. It would be a quick and easy way to keep Lana from causing too much trouble for either of them. The last thing either of them needed was for anyone to ask questions. If anyone believed Lana, even for a second both of them were in trouble. Oliver didn't know why Sister Mary Eunice was so worried about Lana but he knew she was right. If Lana talked he could be in trouble so he wrote the diagnosis.

It was quite brilliant if he said so himself; blaming Lana for Wendy's murder. He had to, of course provide a body, but that hadn't been all that difficult. The head had been a problem, mostly because he had already removed the teeth so he didn't provide that and that had been easily explained anyway. Lana had been so obsessed with the Bloody Face murders that she killed her roommate believing they were lovers and then made it look like the awful Bloody Face killings. The diagnosis stated that she might have come out of her delusion briefly which is why she didn't skin the body.

The murder of Wendy would be enough to keep Lana in Briarcliff forever but there would always be a chance that some cop who was pushing for a promotion would question Lana so Oliver made sure no one ever believed her again. He need to make her his.

He couldn't abandon her like she abandoned him.

So he wrote that she believed that he was Bloody Face. It made sense really. He was the scariest thing in her life. The person who was forcing her to face the reality of her life; of the things she had done. Facing who you are is hard for the best of us and for someone as delusional as Lana it is nearly impossible. Her mind created a vast conspiracy with him as the villain to battle the truth. It was the only way to keep her fantasy alive.

It was the only way to keep Wendy alive.

Lana was a very sick woman.

And the only person who had any chance of reaching her was him.

At least that's what his diagnosis said. Once the judge read it, there would be nothing Lana could do. There would be no one who would believe her and her lies. She could talk until she was blue in the face and no one would believe her.

Lana would be in Briarcliff forever.

Lana would be his forever.

And the therapy could begin.


	4. Sister Mary Eunice

**A/N**: Final Chapter - Thanks to everyone who has reviewed.

**Sister Mary Eunice**

She was having fun.

For the first time in her pathetic little life she was having a good time and no one was going to get in her way; not Sister Jude, not Doctor Arden, and not the Angel. Everything was falling in to place and soon she would be in control.

She would be the one with all the power.

No one would be able to hurt her again.

Sister Jude who had once been a figure of strict authority in her life; was nothing more then a drunken whore. Dr. Arden the brilliant scientist was a madman who would sell his soul to anyone who would let him perform his experiments, and Doctor Thredson the seemingly kind and gentle psychiatrist was a psychopathic serial killer.

They were all frauds and now that she knew it she could control them all. It was so easy really controlling them. It was pathetic really how easy it was. It was barely even a challenge to turn Sister Jude and Doctor Arden against each other; to force Sister Jude out of Briarcliff. No challenge at all. Picking Arden's side had been a better match for her. Arden was so full of secrets she could use to her advantage. Sister Jude was too righteous and when push came to shove her guilt would force her to do the right thing. Arden on the other hand, had no guilt. He had no shame. He could be manipulated. He was perfect.

She had been surprised when Lana had reappeared in the asylum after escaping. She had thought the woman had gotten out and would publish her article. She actually would have liked to have read it. It was rather disappointing really. It would have been an interesting read to say the least. When Lana had told her that Thredson was Bloody Face she had been surprised. She had almost forgotten that he was Bloody Face. That was the problem with jumping bodies. Sometimes you lost something from one to another and needed to be reminded.

What a thing to forget.

Oh how useful he would be.

Oh how much fun she was going to have now that Briarcliff was hers at last.

There was no one left to stop her.

No one left to stand in her way.

Just an Angel with no real power. Nothing that she couldn't handle. Nothing that she had to worry about. Just one last thing to dispose of.

One last thing.

And then her plans for Briarcliff could begin,

Oh how much fun she was going to have.


End file.
